"I hold you in my heart"

I got about ten minutes into my day this morning when a really scary, and sadly, all too common thought hit my mind.  Every thought I had up to that point was only about me.  I hadn't thought about my wife, or my kids, and even though I was about to open up my Bible, I hadn't considered God either.  My mind was already consumed with how every situation in the day was going to affect me.  Almost subconsciously I was thinking, "How can I work the details of this day in my favor?"  Unfortunately, I think this happens quite often, but I don't think I recognize it because, you guessed it, I'm thinking about me.

So, what did I do? Well, I confessed it to God, read my Bible, and went about my day.  Pretty super spiritual right?  Not so much.  My thoughts and actions didn't really change that much.  Don't get me wrong, I sincerely felt bad about my selfishness and all things considered had a pretty good quiet time. But, I don't think I really heard what God wanted me to hear. Later in the day I sat down with my Bible, some resources, and my computer to work on an outline for a lesson on Philippians 1:7-11 for the 4th/5th grade group at church.  Here is what verses 7 and 8 say,

It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel.  For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.

Do you see the phrases that I underlined?  Can you see how much Paul genuinely loved the Philippians?  Paul is in prison.  PRISON!  Yet, his thoughts are not on himself or on his circumstances.  His thoughts and prayers were on the people God had called him to.  Why?  Because Paul was focused on Jesus, not himself.  He thought of, and loved others because he loved Jesus.

This is all very convicting to me.  I don't think about or love the people I have been called to in that way. I can't honestly say that I made a big miraculous turn around and squashed all selfish thoughts and began only thinking of my wife, kids, and others.  But, I want to.  God was gracious today to allow me to see the motives of my own selfish heart...twice.  I am confident that God desires to help me love in this way.  Paul was too.  Just before verse 7, he said this in verse 6,

And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Lord, 

Thank you for showing me how selfish I am.

Thank you that Your word speaks right to my heart and 

that Your Spirit convicts me of sin. 

Help me Lord to repent and

turn my eyes away from myself and onto 

Jesus. 

With that right perspective cause me to love. 

Amen.

Travis